The perfect pout....on Men

pout ¹ (pout)

v. pout·ed, pout·ing, pouts

v.intr.

1. To exhibit displeasure or disappointment; sulk.

2. To protrude the lips in an expression of displeasure or sulkiness.

3. To project or protrude.

When Angelina Jolie's perfect pout went global and the use of collagen became the new black to achieve it - I never in a million years would have thought that men would proudly parade the pout too!
 
The problem with this is the perfect pout is creeping up on every profile picture of every potential boyfriend on every social networking site I'm connected on. The perfect pout is proving enormously imperfect for me.
 
I'm beginning to realize I have a type. It's not an uncommon type so I know you'll get it - I like them tall, dark and handsome - and occasionally I attract them.

We get talking – then take it to the next level (meaning we become Facebook friends).  I add them, I scroll through photos, and then I bear witness to their pouting.

Then I pout (but not in the same way - more in a damn-it here comes another pretty boy way).
 
I'm not sure what possessed these pouters but as far as I'm concerned the pouting has to come to a halt.
 
You see, I was speaking to a very attractive, very intelligent, very accomplished man - his laugh was likable, his looks were too, his intelligence ticked the third important box and just as I started to fall head over heels, his profile photo ensured I stayed firmly seated - this relationship would go no further. This relationship COULD go no further.

It's future was tarnished by his flirting faux pas - the profile photo and the pout within. He's one of many men to disappoint in this arena.
 
Unless you're Derek Zoolander or satirizing the satire - your pout should have no place on my news feed.

My girlfriend’s and I make fun of the girls that pout so you boys should feel free to as well, but I take issue when every photo of you has you sporting that look.
 
You may think I'm being petty and superficial but this is serious business!

If  'A picture says a thousand words' then a photo of a man pouting says; I endorse collagen, I'm a little bit in love with myself, I'm all about hooking up, I'm a tad feminine to which I say;
 
I've lost all interest!
 
Few people proudly post unflattering images of themselves on Facebook, Twitter or MySpace. They put their best face forward because if they are being searched for or stalked by a love interest, they'd like you to poke them, like them or positively comment on them. With that knowledge it puzzles me to see pouts proudly posted as a person's best face.
 
The pout in men is the perfect example of how social networking sites are stifling romance and relationships. It exposes us to too much before a relationship has any time to develop but in this world with so many choices to make and so little time to make them, it's imperative that we see and know more fairly quickly, in order to make the best and most informed decision in every aspect of our lives.
 
While I agree that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover, I'm puzzled when the book has chosen a cover that inspires such judgment.
 
Social networking is socially not-working for me - but surely I can't be the only woman who is passing on the pout.

 

Pest Control

It’s been a while since I’ve had a crush which is very uncharacteristic of me. I’m usually looking at at-least three boys at once to fill my time and imagination (which is very male of me). I like the boy who is great to look at but who I’ll never do anything with, occasionally I’ll engage in a mild flirtation with the guy that makes coffee (his purpose is obvious) and then there’s the one you look at who you hope you’ll settle down with. Knowing this, you can imagine my horror (and boredom) when I realized that nobody was capturing my attention. Surely (I thought) there must be someone out there to fill my mind and time with. What on earth would I write about if there was no man to inspire my text?

Then he came.

As the saying goes, when it rains it pours and true to form, I had a few men entertain my mind’s stage this week, but only one so far, with a moral lesson worth sharing. Phew (for you the readers, and for me, the writer)!

The distractions have been dancing around in my temporary memory; I’ve placed them there because I know they won’t last (which is a horrible way to look at potential love – but a realistic way to look at lust).

This boy satisfied aesthetically but failed on too many other more important counts. 

The first of his failures was his inability to understand instructions with ease.

He persisted. I resisted. 

Weirdly, this rejection flattered him, instilling in him the false belief that I was  playing hard to get when really there were no games here just some words that were sprayed to exterminate a pest…and like one of those horrible cockroaches that refuses to die, he just kept on keeping on. 

This boy came with the furniture we just bought for our home (so I guess that makes him a termite or something). He was the removalist.

Believe me, I think this is as funny as you do. 

I joked to a friend; 

“How would people refer to us? The reporter and the removalist?” (Yes, I’m a bit of a career snob)

“He’d be great for when we’re moving house or helping friend’s move (and then their go our weekends) but what am I supposed to do with him all the other days of the week?”

He was very attractive so I could look at him – but I’m a big believer in marrying your mental equal and his Jersey-Shore exterior didn’t quite have me convinced that he had a mind like Shakespeare’s.

My number was on the delivery slip so I received a few calls from him to “check” details after the delivery was made. I did my utmost to convince him to bring in our furniture and keep his courtship at the door. 

Our conversation went like this: 

“Can I keep calling you?” 

“You’d be wasting your time if you did,” 

“Why” 

“You’re 19 (yes forgot to mention that).That’s a little young for me” (I’m not at a point where I have to resort to cradle snatching (speaking of cradle snatching look at this clip I produced on The Morning Show that went GLOBAL this week: YAY: http://au.tv.yahoo.com/the-morning-show/video/-/watch/26372699/teen-bride-takes-on-critics/) 

“Look I know it’s normal to be scared of something as beautiful as me, I just wanna hang out one night,” he said (Now you’re both young and dumb). 

“I’m sure you can find someone your age,” I insisted. 

“You like brushing me off don’t you...and I think you’re being silly. We’re practically neighbours, we should just go out…we can even just be friends,” he pushed. 

“No thank you. I have plenty of friends.”

And just like that, the pest was controlled.

I’ve never been a fan of bugs. If I see an insect, I say KILL it, don’t sweep it up, don’t pick it up and throw it into the garden...just get rid of it. FOR GOOD!

I particularly don’t like those pestering creepy crawlies that persist after you’ve Morteined the life out of them. It’s clear you have no place for them in your home and such was the chase and capture of the removalist.

At least for a day, I had a story to retell and a lesson to learn; be careful what you wish for...because when what you wish for creeps in...you might just need some pest control.

Who says you can't mix work with pleasure?

I started this blog at the end of last year as a creative outlet because I don't always get to write about things that interest and excite me in my job.

This week I was lucky enough to get to produce two segments on two topics of great interest to me and you (my regular readers)!

This is short and sweet because the pkgs do the talking for me.

The first was about a woman who I interviewed over the phone who was on the road to marital bliss before her fiance just weeks before her wedding broke up with her. Left with all the gifts of her relationship, she pondered what to do with them when her step mother thought the idea was a website waiting to happen...and that's what she did.

Meghan Perry with her step mother, Marie, co-created the website exboyfriendjewelry.com (pop onto the site, there are some great steals on there). The site catapulted to success, now reaching up to a million visitors daily and the site has received global coverage (even making it on to The Morning Show). Take a look at Larry and Kylie's interview with her here.

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/the-morning-show/video/-/watch/26308486/diamonds-are-a-girls-ex-friend/


The other story I got to work on was a chat with Psychologist Dr Janet Hall on the difference between lust and love. Lots of research is dedicated to separating fact from fiction or hormones from love. Here, Dr Janet discusses the difference pointing out that lust is all about what you can get from somebody else, whereas love is about what you can give to your partner. Take a look at this one too.

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/the-morning-show/video/-/watch/26308748/lust-at-first-sight/

Some great food for thought.

As always, thanks for reading and watching.

X

Doormats and Disney

Everyone has a friend that embraces submission in a relationship; some for the bliss of finding that significant other who you’re happy to compromise for and others to their detriment. I have one friend, who quite happily now has freed herself from an abusive relationship for two years now. She was the perfect girlfriend, the yes-girl, ever-loyal, ever-there but at the end of a long relationship was pushed aside ever-after. There would never be a prize for being a doormat. 

When thinking of what to write this week, I realized a common thread in many childhood fantasies. Each thread was carefully woven and spun to create a carpet. There was Jasmine and Aladdin’s carpet; magical, elevating and romantic. There were red carpets that only the rich, famous and glamorous trod on and their was a walk down the aisle that would mark the beginning of our happily ever afters.

Fictional love stories had us dream of the carpets we’d walk down but never got to the bit about how when many women have been swept off their feet, they place they land, is beneath their partner. 

In an age where equality is rampantly fought for across the globe, why are women still willing to accept the word matriarch to also mean maid? 

I have no issue with being in a mutually loving relationship where compromises are made out of love and respect for my partner and vice versa. 

However, I take issue with blind submission to every man because not every man is worth that compromise to your independence.  Not every man deserves a woman that wholeheartedly commits to him. Unfortunately many women choose the wrong men to submit to and this ruins the idea of love and trust within a relationship for them for life. These women misunderstand compromise to mean passivity in their partnership and forget that in a mutually loving relationship, she would never be trod on. 

On closer inspection of Aladdin and the tale of how he and Jasmine fell in love, it’s clear to see that Jas had her Arabian eyes wide-open when she fell in love with Aladdin. Yes, he was a thief (I’m not advising we all rush out to prisons in pursuit of love) but he was a man who knew he would have to become great in order to be worthy of a princesses love. 

When he and Jasmine first met in Agrabah's marketplace, the two discovered they had a lot in common. This would not be enough to sustain their relationship however. 

Later in the story, when Aladdin gets a hold of the lamp, meets the Genie and is given three wishes, one of Aladdin’s greatest hopes is to become a prince in order to be good enough for Jasmine. 

After a tumultuous tale of wealth, love and rivalry comes to play, Aladdin eventually accepts that he cannot maintain the charade as a prince and reveals to Jasmine that he is not Prince Ali, he is in fact, the pauper, Aladdin. Seeing Jasmine's love for Aladdin, the Sultan (Jasmine’s dad) changes the law to allow her to marry whomever she deems worthy, then they board the magic carpet and embark on a journey, to a “whole new world.”

The story still stands as one of my favourite Disney creations of all time and even at twenty-two years of age, there’s still a lesson or two to learn from it. 

Just as Jasmine did, succumb to the man who works hard to be better for you. Let your love inspire his better qualities (for Aladdin they were kindness and honesty). Like with the Sultan, your parents approval is usually a good sign of his character and worthiness of you, and finally when love is right, it will elevate you – you’ll ride atop the magic carpet, ensuring, you’re never the doormat.

Tale of a TV Appearance

I went on the Morning Show this week to talk about being celibate. If ever you would like to attract the jobless freaks of the nation – do what I did!

I won't lie, as much as I would never look twice at the men who have aimed high and hoped for love through Facebook, I will admit, I've enjoyed seeing the few hopefuls email me through the site, convinced that they had experienced love at first sight and shared my ideals on having sex after marriage.

A message to all; Facebook is not a dating website! I will not R.S.V.P to your dream-date, we will not fall madly in love online without me seeing you face to face (and I won’t see you face to face if you look anything like your profile pic) and if you think I’d give complete access to my photos, friends and thoughts to a stranger you are more dumb than that Hungry Jacks’ uniform makes you look.

Here’s the clip if you’d like to see what Larry, Kylie, sexologist Nikki Goldstein and I spoke about.

 http://au.tv.yahoo.com/the-morning-show/video/-/watch/26122143/waiting-for-the-wedding-night/

 For everyone who has seen it, HUGE thanks for being so supportive and encouraging (I feel like I'm Oprah after all of this praise). It’s just a tiny step towards my dream career (and maybe love… I can dream).

When Paula, the producer of the segment prepared the briefing notes on this chat she wrote what I think is my finest report card yet:

  “Miriam has plenty of opportunities with men she meets, and is immediately honest about her opinions towards sex.  She says if they can't cope with her decision then it wasn't meant to be.
 

She wants to wait for her husband and sees this as a measure of the love she'll hold for him.

 It doesn't matter if her husband isn't a virgin when they meet - as long as he is then happy to abstain until their wedding night.

She doesn't feel she's missing out on experiences

 Miriam hopes there's a nice guy out there who has the same attitude to life she does - she's keen to meet him!”

She was right and this story is still evolving.

At the end of my chat with the Morning Show hosts, Kylie commented - "as an older woman, I feel like it's my duty to tell Miriam that when you get married you don't have sex, so the poor girl will spend her whole life without it." It was a funny follow up on television but in my blog, I always get the last word. 

If I had had the chance to reply my response  would have been that perhaps sex stops in marriage for previously sexually active couples because they've already been there and done that. 

In my marriage, I'll be introducing an exciting and new aspect to my relationship and we'll be infatuated with each other all over again because of it. If he's not experienced (then he's a rare gem)and our first time will be a laugh but we'll have a lifetime to perfect it.  At least we'll both rest securely in the fact that he'll be the best I ever had....everytime.