Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Walk like a man, Talk like a man

 I wrote a text to someone and got a response back. Was this because he was interested? Was it because he wasn’t interested so didn't feel compelled to game play? Is it because he's not a game player? Is it because he learnt his lesson from previous relationships not to keep a girl waiting lest he lose her interest.... either way for a change I'm not interested. I haven't sworn off men but I may slowly be becoming one.

I'm not about to have a sex change (I'm perfectly happy being female) but I am adopting some masculine qualities... not because they’re the better gender but because trial and error has taught me that some of their tricks work wonders in the trade of love. 

Sometimes the hardest decision in life is knowing which bridge to walk and which to burn? With men...the equation is simple; if he is stupid enough to walk away then you need to be smart enough to let him go.  This conclusion isn't an easy move to commit to. When you're anxiously waiting for a crush to notice you - the last thing you want to do is accept that he is just not that into you. However, accepting a closed door may be exactly what is needed to open a new one.

 I was chatting to a friend and her partner the other day on persons of interest to me at the moment. That’s not a typo, there are many. My friends partner was shocked and responded with a 'my goodness Miriam you move on pretty quickly don't you?!' the conversation quickly turned into a look at me as a man (if I was one) - we all agreed I'd be the charming womanizing male I constantly fall for because I loved words and loved women.  With crush a) - I wasn't sure he was interested so I exited the game, crush b) was more about reciprocating his interest because I appreciated his qualities and interest in me but he was very slow to act. Slow paced seduction was the game of crush c) as well and crush d)'s life and my own were gravitating towards each other but neither of us were forcing it to happen. Stay tuned on - e) all of the above.

Neither of us were sure of the others interest or our compatibility. All of these boys were wonderful people with admirable qualities. Some inside investigation revealed that the cream of the crop saw goodness in me too but admitted that it would be a long time before he did anything about his interest.

Enter my man brain. I tried to empathize with this guy to understand why if he was interested he would resist dating me and then I took a walk in his shoes. If I were a hot young male with many girls at my disposal, lots of travelling to do and lots of “single” fun to enjoy, would I commit to a girl that would be fabulous but limit that freedom or would I chance it and hope she was single when I felt older and ready for the responsibility?

The answer? I’d buzz around bachelor-hood and like a bee to honey would stick around that sweet life for as long as I could. Love, while ideally about romance and rescuing for us ladies, for men it’s about work, commitment and fatherhood (that’s daunting even for me) so for a change, I’m toe tapping in man-land and seeing it from their perspective.

While I’m thinking like a man, I’m acting like a lady and still waiting for the man to approach but in walking in his shoes, I’m more understanding about the wait and happier to fill my time with many over being miserable pining over just one. If he can wait, so can I – but not necessarily for him.

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