I have a new trainer. He prefers to be called coach. Today, he didn’t just train me physically, he worked me mentally too. Today he was a life coach. No I’m not in love with him but we did have a very refreshing chat this morning. He’ll hate me if he ever reads this blog. Sorry in advance. I’m joking…but not really.
We were talking (briefly) about his change of values in his search for a woman as he got older. We talked politics and the purposelessly famous (enter Kim Kardashian).
I took the opportunity to boast about meeting her and said regardless of his opinion on her, her good looks were undeniable and he’d at the very least have to admit to that.
His response surprised me. “I wouldn’t be caught dead admitting to that and if ever the opportunity was presented to me, it would only be my ego that would use the chance to boast about the connection but it would never be my brain or heart that would fall for a woman like that…a woman without substance.”
I don’t respect her fame but I do think she’s incredibly clever to be capitalising on the world’s obsession of her. Putting Kim aside, I must say, I found it incredibly refreshing that a man of just 29 would think so wisely in the search for love.
Men, you get a hard wrap from me often. I know you’re not all bad in the same way you know all women aren’t neurotic, but here was the first instance in a long time that a man in front of me had described the search for love as a genuine search for a connection; beyond that which is physical. I understood it but didn’t quite believe it. Being a trainer, of course aesthetics were important!
I was reading about the difference between love and lust and it was perfectly explained like this: Love is giving and lust is taking. It was the same concept in his retrained brain. The old trainer, said in his younger years aesthetics were everything. In his older years, personality was. Ladies – the good ones are still out there. I will give you details of where I train later. Inbox me for details ;)
I thought in writing and researching for this blog, I’d come across some sensational explanation as to why we mature or why our tastes do and share it with you. I thought that this would be the Holy Grail…that this would be the answer to why men commit. I thought I could be the love guru for a week. Instead I found an article that read:
“Aging changes in the senses”
Extra, Extra read all about it!!
Extra was exactly what the article was talking about. Extra attention needed for the senses that is.
The article outlines the perceptual changes related to age. This at first made me laugh. This was a “you look better with the lights off,” approach to love. If you’re eyesight was worsening your body was naturally forcing you to adapt and lower your visual standards. Women with age would stop wanting a man with thick hair and would have to be happy with the balding guy instead. Men were strangely foregoing the dream of bagging Miranda Kerr for the chance at love with her shorter, curvier, less attractive counterpart.
As I continued to read about the deprivation of senses, I quickly understood the demand to over stimulate those senses with a partner who satisfied the need for those sensations.
When you age, the way your senses are able to give you information about the world changes. They become less acute and according to the article, “you may have trouble distinguishing details.” Goodbye taste, smell, touch, vision and hearing. JOY!
Age as I read on was going to have a tremendous impact on our lifestyles. It was really about to stuff us around but it was also going to be our saving grace in the search for love.
With age, the amount of sensory input necessary to adequately absorb feeling, sense of smell, etc. was going to have a massive shift.
I learnt that both sight and hearing where the first to go in the aging process. If sight was to dissipate your partner’s looks were no longer important. After a few good years of marriage, you’d stop having to look at them…or rather your eyesight will prevent you from it.
If hearing were to follow, then you’d have to like the person who was yelling at you. This cancels out the Fran Drescher’s of the world. Nasal voices out. Soothing lady like ones in. It made sense then that if a man was to commit, he’d like talking to his partner above any of her other qualities because when talking wasn’t enough, yelling would take over so you better like what she has to say.
Some age-related eye changes may begin as early as your 30s. My coach must have a premature onset of this symptom.
The good news was that aging eyes produce less tears. Men, your partner’s emotions only run a few decades. If you stick it out, you won’t see them cry or hear them cry. Marital bliss.
By the time you turn 60, your pupils decrease to about one-third of the size they were when you were 20. Jury’s out on whether this means he’ll only see half of you. This would be like wearing beer goggles for life. A great thing for both parties.
The other great news for men married to women who can’t cook and for women married to less than master chefs, is that your sense of smell and taste declined with age too. This not only meant satiety of the stomach, it meant contentment with the stench that in your youth, may have bothered you.
Age sounded awful to me by the time I read through the entire article until I realized that it actually DID uncover the Holy Grail. I didn’t have the answer to why men commit but I did have a different valuable conclusion to make… it was far better to marry old because you had less to be critical of and you had fewer senses to be critical with.
Age was the secret to happiness because you couldn’t see better, because you couldn’t hear better, because even though you used to smell better, the taste of a relationship was better because your senses by then, know no better.
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