Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Power, Passion and Pain on Valentine's Day.

The Grammy awards were held two nights ago and a song that stands as one of the greatest ballads of this generation, won its singer, Adele the greatest gong in the music industry. After her album, ‘21’ was named album of the year she thanked a "rubbish relationship" for inspiration.  Her lyrics, laced with power, passion and pain shared in universal human experience and made her lyrics send tremors in the hearts of the torn and emotionally tarnished globally.  

I can’t write a blog about passion and pain without giving Whitney Houston a mention. Before Adele, she was the musical great whose music we all blasted, whose love we all related to, whose voice echoed in our minds and hearts and who wrote with passion, sung with power and shared her pain in a public forum. It almost appears that one cannot have extreme success without extreme pain; in life and in love..

The rawest of emotions spark the strongest of responses and the truest of feelings shared, inspire the greatest of human connections.

This is my valentine’s day musing. While many may be mourning their single status (congratulations to those who aren’t today), the rest of us should take consolation in the fact that relationships are difficult – one of life’s greatest struggles and the longevity of a relationship, is one of life’s greatest successes. You don’t want to be in one unless you’re prepared for the long-suffering nature of it.

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie that is getting rave reviews among Oscar big-wigs for its portrayal of reality, ‘The Descendants.’ As George Clooney’s character bids farewell to his dying wife, he says a few poignant words that have since, lingered in my memory.

 “Goodbye my joy, goodbye my pain, goodbye my love, goodbye my friend goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.”

Love struck me as one of the most paradoxical emotions or states of being that you could experience. You could love, but you’d have moments of hatred, you could give, when you only wanted to take and had nothing left to give. You would share, when you only wanted to be left alone. You would fight, even when you had no energy to keep going. You would stay, when it would be easier to leave, you would give your heart, even at the risk of it being broken.

That love is the rarest kind and that’s the one we singles are waiting for. It’s also what you taken people should be experiencing.

Someone like Adele felt broken. Opportunity didn’t knock so she created a door while she was waiting for her next great love. Look to the lessons you’ve learned, the realisation of your capacity to love and seek relationships or opportunities that will evaporate your bitterness and encourage your growth. She did and it paid off massively!

 Someone like Whitney let her love break her. The difference between the two icons of passion, power and pain, were that one searched for someone to complete her, when that love only depleted her and the other realised she didn't need someone to complete her, she just needed someone to accept her completely (and then wrote an award winning song about it).

This Valentine’s day, look how you can grow from the experiences that hurt you, never stop believing that love will come but know that when it does, it will rock your world (not always positively). The road won’t be easy – it will be paved with problems, but the trials will be worth it for a lifetime threaded with power and passion that somehow nullifies the pain it often causes.

Look for love to be everything but don’t feel like nothing when it doesn’t work out. Let love change you for the better and if it diminishes your spirit (like Whitney) then escape before it destroys your soul.

I’m all for commercialism and extravagant displays of love and affection, but we all should take note that in that bouquet of roses are stems full of thorns and the hard work put in to that relationship is deserving of that recognition (today and always).

This year, don’t  be jealous of people that have love, be happy that they’ve found it and be all ears to how they’ve managed to sustain it. I’ll be blasting Whitney and Adele in the meantime. I’m such a cliché.

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