Wednesday, November 23, 2011

System failure! Trouble in paradise.

There’s a common problem among women that details the noticeable decline in performance when a woman moves her man from boyfriend to husband territory. If perhaps we were to make marriage a computer, then it is safe to say, once the husband upgrade is made available to the boyfriend application, the husband application begins to corrupt the romance folder. He does however help provide love and finances for bills. Where the boyfriend application was once free-flowing with flattery, the husband application continues to fail the female application user.
The Husband while in your life uninstalls passion, slows down performance, wipes out housework and installs sloth in replace of the aforementioned applications to your life.
This app is a common trend among many married women in my life. Where romance was rife once upon a time, once upon a time remains just that. In recent times, love exists but actions desist. The security coding ensures longevity in partnership and thus both folders remain permanent fixtures in each other’s lives. Not always happily so.
What many men find is that nagging to fix these technical difficulties adds to the system failure and while this computer crash damages the hope folder, there is no Tech nerd who has been able to fix it to date.
Desperation abounds and women everywhere struggle with the technical failures in their marriages. The Husband upgrade is a rude shock to the system and though the desired outcome is to shut down and reboot, most women admit to having caught the incurable commitment virus, so they stick around in hope for repair. Too many cherished files exist in this hard drive and so they’d rather salvage those files than start anew.
Women everywhere for years to come will complain of this problem. The answer however is in the acknowledgement that the boyfriend application was merely an entertainment package. He was there for theatricality, joy, outings and gallivanting. Husband is the upgrade for the woman wanting an operating system; a handyman if you will.
In the “Manual of Marriage According to Me,” it is written that to repair this system failure, a new command must be entered into the system. If the command is entered with passwords; guilt, tears and mother-in-law, husband is sure to operate.
Do beware that installing Mother-in-law will result in a Husband virus that may lead to a crash. If mother-in-law creeps in undetected it will affect the running of all of the programs in your home folder. In such a case, all unsupported files will fail you and you’ll be a sad system.
Do remember that while Husband fails in some areas, he’s worth the purchase. He has minimal mental storage, but optimal stomach storage. If you cook, he will run, if you run, he will remain attracted and while there is limited multi-tasking ability at least you know whatever he is working on is one task out of your hands.
If you clear out exes, work and miscellaneous rubbish from his files, he’ll have more room for you and is likely to perform at an acceptable pace.
Maintenance of your looks and your love will ensure a performance worth your purchase. A good lippy and a bit of lingerie might help too.
Keep this for the archives folder when the system fails in future.

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