Gentlemen and the Gym.

I read this great article in the Sydney Morning Herald about women’s fear of entering the weights section of a gym (you can read it here http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/diet-and-fitness/blogs/chew-on-this/gender-and-the-gym-20120827-24w32.html).  It detailed how for no real reason the gym tends to split its’ space into a female/male division as if to say, women shouldn’t be near weights. Bollocks!

The journalist who wrote the article, Paula Goodyer, admitted to going to the same gym for a decade before getting the strength to walk over to the weights. It’s ironic that she needed strength to go where strength is built.

I will admit I too had this same trepidation about treading where testosterone dominated… and then I joined Crossfit, where the only way to look like  this is to get amongst it and GET LIFTING.

Anyone who knows me knows how absolutely besotted I am with this training and if you don’t know about it, let me tell you, it gets ugly! I simultaneously look my worst while feeling my best every day that I do it. I never would have believed that I would unmask myself and expose that vulnerability to a room full of shirtless men if anyone had told me I would a year ago. It is truly one of the most freeing things I have ever experienced.

In my previous life, my insecurities would have me run to a dressing room before I even contemplated a dead lift, I’d sooner die than part ways with my eyeliner and I’d bury my pride in cosmetics before attempting a bench press - until I finally got to experience what it meant to be a part of this great team, to be encouraged by some pretty fabulous and fun-loving men and to work out in an environment that harnessed growth rather than stifled it with judgement.

The first time we were given a team workout to complete, my heart sank. I knew I’d be letting the team down. I wasn’t fast enough. I wasn’t fit enough and the fittest guy in the room was going to be frustrated by my deficiencies. Not so.

He encouraged. He cheered. He was even impressed at how hard I was trying. There was no judgement. There was no condescension, only camaraderie and respect. He gained mine that day too.

Stepping into a Crossfit gym meant my ego was left at the door but all other team members had to do the same and that’s the thing about jumping in with the boys - we all become equals; united in shared struggle and nobody sees gender.

I know it’s an admission that most women will hate and maybe judge me for but many of us love to be validated by a man’s attention. Yes, we should hold our own. Yes, we should have the personal strength, self-belief and security that we never need a compliment but unlike you (who are obviously very intelligent and sophisticated and friendly and attractive and perfect), I like to be told on occasion (particularly when out of my comfort zone or working hard) that I’m doing great or doing the right thing. That’s where the fun and fabulousness of mixing with the macho men of a gym comes in.

When I’m done with a workout, there’s usually a boy who will offer to pack my weights away (they may not do this at home but the gym is a domain where they like to flex their domestic muscles and occasionally I’ll let them and enjoy it). When I’m too puffed out to run another metre, there’s a male cheer squad telling you to keep treading the road less travelled. This is a huge perk.When you’re on your last round of repetitions and the uber fit and super-hot and occasionally shirtless tell you that you can do what you thought you couldn’t – you’re doing that rep dammit!

Great friendships have been formed amidst weight plates where I work-out. Amidst our struggle while I sweat enough to end a drought, while my frizzy hair channels Diana Ross’, while my heart beats so fast I can barely breathe and while my cheeks are a lovely shade of beetroot, somehow I still feel beautiful, confident and strong and since it’s neither cosmetics or clothing that inspire this, I’d have to put it down to the people that surround me and that make the place a platform for my best self to step forward. Thank you ladies AND gentlemen.

While I’m first to say I can’t when someone is doing a handstand pushup, a pull up or a range of other movements, what I’ve learnt and what both the men and women around me have taught me is that there isn’t a thing a woman can’t do unless she says she can’t and at my gym there isn’t a man who would (or should) dare stop her.

One of our coaches is thinking to tell the men that sign up to the gym that he’ll in fact “make a woman out of them” (his words not mine). He says this because he believes women are far stronger than men and that it’s the men that could do with a lesson or two from us – he knows what he’s on about and it’s time you realized it too.

Real life has both men and women walking similar paths with only a few small differences. The gym is a microcosm of that. People overcoming tribulation. Together but alone (in that it still requires you to give it all you’ve got to pull yourself through).

While you’re worried about sweating in front of them – when they see it, it somehow earns you their respect.

While you’re worried about not being in your best outfit – they’re more interested in the body you have without clothes.

While you’re worried about that bit of fat wobbling and warding them off, they’re thinking how strong you are to do something to get rid of it.

The quickest route to confidence is in knowing how to do something. The only way to know is if you try. The only way to try is to step out of your comfort zone and before you know it, that comfort zone will be redefined and will have a few fit bodies strengthening that foundation.