In case you hadn’t heard, it’s International Cougar Week and that means a calling for the Demi Moore’s, the Goldie Hawn’s and the Susan Sarandon’s of the world to take out their predatory claws and allow them to grip onto their willing younger prey. Only twenty two but already considering the merits of being one if I’m still single at thirty, upon observing the successful women around me, I see the merits in women allowing themselves to be taken by their toy boys.
Demi Moore married husband Ashton Kutcher, fifteen years her junior (that’s a little too much for me), in 2005. A whole six years ago and their marriage is still stronger than ever. The reason? I credit it to inferiority complexes among men and their constant desire to prove their manhood.
A man will step up and make an honest woman out of his partner if and when he a) wants to keep her as his own and b) recognises her superiority and knows that if he is slow to act, another will take her. There’s a great line that Ashton Kutcher funnily enough says to Jessica Alba in the movie, ‘Valentine’s Day.’ He says in his proposal, “my father told me that when you meet the girl that’s better than you, marry her.” Life imitated art when he found, fell in love with and married Hollywood dazzler Demi Moore, better than him and now married to him.
Mariah Carey is expecting twins from her boy toy anytime this month. With a vocal range as broad as Mariah’s you’d hate to get into trouble in that household – it’s no wonder Nick Cave is quietly satisfied.
Perhaps the power anthem “I am woman hear me roar” had subtext of female’s being the one’s who court men, of women powering through predefined gender roles and using their prowess to court and conquer hearts; younger more obedient, more giving, less complex men.
Since Stifler’s mum in American pie we learnt the power of a semi-attractive woman over the growth of a young boy. This is to Sir with Love but reversed – To Madam with lust if you will. “How do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?” What you give in return is commitment, gratitude…or better yet, servitude.
Fountains of Wayne
I remember when I was younger an old friend was enamoured by an older, mutual friend of ours. I never understood it being the younger more attractive one. Now I do. It was forbidden therefore it was desirable. I wonder if cougars became more available would they then become less appealing?
When Mark Philippoussis starred in the reality hit series- “Age of Love” he was given the option of love with a forty something year old woman or with a twenty something year old. The twenty something cheerleader ultimately won but he seemed genuinely conflicted in making his choice. The show featured ten forty something year old women who competed with ten twenty-something year old women for “The Poos” affection. All were open to falling in love with him. The Poo explained their appeal (many men share this sentiment) - that they know what they want, they go after it, they are more confident with themselves and therefore are more assertive in the relationship – it is love without complexity (I didn’t know that even existed).
The answer then I guess was not in seeking love in a younger male, was not in contributing to the cougar convention, was not about wearing the pants or having a man that acquiesced to all of your demands. It appears that the secret to a successful relationship was a combination of honesty and confidence not age and power play.
Too young to become a cougar and with little need to venture into that arena just yet, I take comfort in the fact that men will want me when I’m old and that I can still have their desirable qualities without the wrinkles in my youth. When love is found, the wrinkles won’t matter because it all looks the same in the dark but if you’re a cougar, you’ll have a toy boy who’ll look good in daylight too; perfect as long as people don’t mistake you for his mum.
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