No More Mr Nice Guy....or is there?

It’s a question too often pondered among women; where have all the good guys gone? It’s easy to generalise and to categorize the chivalrous with the dead but for fear of becoming cynical before my time or generation; I thought this week’s mission was to search for Mr Nice guy and to document his good deeds.

My first shock encounter came in the kitchen at the office. After having just celebrated a colleague’s birthday in the boardroom, one other male colleague had taken all the dirty glasses to the kitchen and cleaned up the area because he couldn’t stand to leave it for the cleaner. His exact words were “the cleaner, didn’t get to enjoy the party, so why should he have to clean up after us.” I was awe-struck by his sensitivity, his modesty and the empathy he had for a complete stranger. This man did not parade his good deeds nor act in pursuit of praise; he acted with kindness simply because it was kind to do so.

This same person made it very easy to write this blog and continue finding material. On a day I had the chance to work next to him, I saw a consideration for all of his colleagues; unlike kindness I’d ever seen before. One girl was hungry so he went down and bought her food without her asking. Another was about to embark on a long road trip, he gave her nibblies to prevent the munchies on her way and another, he gave bars for her children to eat, keeping nothing for himself. Kindness was instinctive, automatic and agenda-free. I was starting to feel very inferior by comparison.

This lesson was not just demonstrating that kindness existed but that in fact, the good I saw far outweighed any good that I had shown.

But wait there was more (writing infomercials is getting to me).

Rather than set my sights singularly on one man, I opened the window to let in all mankind – they didn’t all make it through the narrow gate but, when judgement day came, I was happy to pass and fail some. Preferring to remain optimistic about the good I didn’t know and the greatness I’d one day meet, this was a reminder to me and all like me to believe in better because better was out there and is sometimes staring you in the face.

His peer proved an equal saviour; correcting my errors on a day I was put on trial in a new position. Without making a complaint, making a point of proving my incompetence or gratifying a want to prove he was better, he was heroic in that in his attempt to right my wrong, I was not cockily corrected, just kindly shown how to improve; he was courteous and considerate .

While at the gym this week, I was in cycle class and through the sound-system blasted, Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Holding out for a hero,” but this week as I pushed on through spin, I realised I had nothing to spin on the good deeds I’d seen.

Tyler in her ballad for all of woman-kind, cried;

Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and I dream of what I need

….but this week my sleep was uninterrupted, because I had an answer to rival Tyler’s rant. This week I learnt, the good men are still around, are exceptionally better than me when I give myself a chance to notice and though they’re yet to win my heart, they’re hearts proved a credit to their gender (or upbringing). For now, just knowing the good ones exist, is all the hope we need and that hope is timely too….there’s a royal wedding imminent.