The Ugly and the Unwanted in the Wild

I write often about the Fabios of the world that woo you into a whirlwind romance but have seldom written of the no-meo's that is the non-Romeo; that awful male you can't stand to have around you but who thinks he has courtship mastered right down to the engagement ring. You don't have the heart to tell him that you're not interested because the less fortunate in the looks department are always too sensitive to accept the rejection. They are unable to see that it's not him, it's not even you, it's simply that you're not compatible.

I used to consider myself a nice person until I saw that I'd once reduced a man to tears through my condescending comments to him. I didn't mean it and I am sorry for the exchange but it was later brought to my attention that this man's heart weakened because that was the only overworked muscle in him that though feeling vividly was neglected by others after facing a series of rejctions. Unfortunately, even in love it is survival of the fittest.

This Animal Kingdom seeks a Bear Grylls so that in situations where man must verse wild, man always prevails. In this case, the wild won, the boy was lost and the battle was decided. The weakest link was voted off the island of potential love interests as "I am woman hear me roar" sounded off as he took his walk of shame off the island.

One more contestant stepped up with grand gestures coated in sleaze, dipped in slime and ending in a danger zone that I was unwilling to tred into. This time, the offerer was more stoic in his approach, he wouldn't cry like the last one but his temper would flare after his offer was rejected and although I love passion, I hate fury, so this hot head would have to cool off in distant waters where there are plenty of fish in the sea, none of them being me available to this Snapper fish....I'd much prefer to be up on a yacht somewhere looking down at the poor fish than swimming amongst them. Individuality over commonality always prevails in my books.

This may seem painful and perplexing to the opposite sex. We want a sensitive man but not one that cries more often than we do unless it's Jude Law's character in The Holiday. We want a passionate man but not an angry man unless he's fighting for our hearts. We want a man's man but not a grub unless it's Bear Grylls and we want you to be intelligent enough to know when we are and aren't interested so that we don't have to console the sad, avoid the bad and further upset the ugly.

It's a jungle out there and most people let out a mating call in life, you just have to be attuned to the sound and singing the same tune to be noticed. Elephants and tigers could never interbreed and so the lesson in this love saga is for birds of a feather to flock together and avoid the confusion by hoping for physical impossibilities.

The animal kingdom is clever in this regard because they are always drawn to sameness. You may walk like a man, you may talk like a man, but in finding a partner use your instincts like an animal and seek compatability in the wild.